Coming home this time from yet another stint overseas feels different. Let me explain.
Remember that rebellion you felt through high school? That burning feeling of I can’t wait to get out of this place/ neighbourhood/ town. I can’t wait to move out of home. I can’t wait to travel. I can’t wait to be free. Some of you may still feel this way. I moved out of home a youngen, at 16, and have been dreaming big and I-can’t-wait-ing big ever since. I’ve never been afraid of packing up and skipping town, sometimes by virtue of adventure, other times it was blatant escape. When I met Glen it was a dream come true, because at that point in our lives, the both of us felt the need to purposely disengage ourselves from anything that held our attachment. When I reflect on this, even though I love and appreciate every decision we made, and the amazing brand new totally freshed up life we created together, I can’t help but give myself a little hindsight head shake. Folks, I spent those few years being a very B grade friend, sister and daughter. And what’s more, every time I returned to Australia briefly, I felt uncomfortable. Get me out of here! I was disgusted by the notion that people my age were already married with kids and mortgages. Idiots! Who the hell would choose all those commitments before the freedom of travel? These people will never be as happy as me!
So! Obviously, the moral of the story here is that the story itself has changed, otherwise you could call me condescending and naive and obnoxious, and just plain awful really. But if you’re a local around here, you’ll know that the girl I described up above is long gone. She’s history.
I was so happy to return to Australia this time. And would you have guessed it, Glen and I have decided to sorta-kinda settle down! I’m really, truly, deeply excited about it.
- No more packing up our life every six months.
- No more baggage allowance restrictions and excess baggage fines.
- No more working in positions that we’re totally over-qualified for.
- No more working for $9 an hour overseas.
- No more living in staff accommodation or flatting with housemates. I’m married now for god’s sake. I’m ready to start living like it. Yes, that includes walking around naked and turning on the juicer at 6am if I feel like it.
- No more starting again every season, and by that I mean- saying goodbye, job hunting, house hunting, friend hunting. Setting up bank accounts and social insurance numbers and travel insurance and updating resumes and applying for visas and getting a new phone number.
- A sanctuary. A home. Oh my goodness- a real life home! Rent or mortgage, I don’t care- but a place to call my own! No house mates. No staff accommodation. Just me and my man. Gimme!
- Family. After running away as hard and fast as I could for long, I am craving my family. I think of my dad and tears well in my eyes, the same with my little brother. I want to embrace my big bro and give him a high five, and spend all day with mum in the kitchen, cooking the perfect meal from scratch. I want to send love notes to my grand parents. I want to make suprise visits; I’ll show up with flowers and raw vegan snackies and I’ll declare my love.
- The ‘work’ thing. This is the last time you will ever see me behind a bar or serving food or making coffee. It’s nothing against the industry, but my time here is done. This is the most significant promise I have made to myself and if I break this promise, it will be my greatest betrayel. Again, if you read this blog regularly you will know I’m destined for bigger and better things. After this winter in Mt. Buller, shit gets real.
- Sobriety. This is bloody hard as a seasonnaire, but I’ve already swapped out my usual big glass o’ red for chamomile tea. Infact, a friend just said to me ‘I’m going downstairs, gettin’ changed and then gettin’ drunk’. I smiled at him- ‘have fun darlin’, and here I sit cozied on the couch in my jammies.
- Fitness. Pre-seasonnaire, I was training as an athlete, and throughout my travels I’ve snowboarded, which has been ah-mazing, but I want to connect to my body in a different way now. It’s evolution. Yoga fascinates me, particularly Kundalini, Bikram and Jivamukti. I’d love to start running again, and maybe even work with a trainer. But nothing too extreme. Gentle is my new life speed.
- HOLIDAYS! You know, the type where you save enough money to properly enjoy your travels and you chill the helllllll out? The type of holiday where you don’t work. Ahh. The month Glen and I spent in Mexico put this taste in our mouth: how about we work jobs we really enjoy and then go on epic holidays every year! Like normal people! Yep, I’m kinda liking that flavour.